![]() I can’t say whether or not you all took me up on that offer or whether you were like nah idgaf let’s just get this boot over with. Also beautiful and I smell good, which is something I can’t say for any of you. I am even so wonderful that I offered you the choice of perhaps delaying elimination - I am very very very nice. I have a lot of big, exciting plans for you all. Those of you who I select to go on this journey with me will definitely have to figure out some sort of a shower situation because I am not doing this for 14 weeks I’m telling you right now.īut who is coming on this journey? I know I impressed upon all of you just how serious this whole thing is, but did you take that to heart? Are you willing to commit your lives and life savings and the lives of everyone you’ve ever known to snatch the Ring of Power back from that confounded, two-timing, back-stabbing Llama? Or should I just leave you in this field here, throw a handful of mints at you and say, “BEGONE FOUL CREATURE?” Impressive! Eat some more breath mints, all of you! This is a level of stench that we haven’t experienced since the first cycle of The World’s Worst Bottom Model when Whitney’s plans made the whole city smell like old fish. Well here you all are again! Wow you smell bad! This is like what Lexi smells like from a year of van life living but after only a week. Her dedication as a mom and also a psychopath is heartwarming to the models except for Lisa 2 who is jealous af because Lisa 1 never spent this much time with HER growing up. Lisa is sitting in a massage chair with Demon Antichrist Baby on her lap, and she is reading him the world’s most famous and exciting new children’s book How to Take Over the World Using Memes. The models climb over each other and get pretty handsy about it and stumble out of the tree line into Lisa’s swank ass campsite… Busta’s voice, and it sounds like he’s eating something and they’re all pretty jealous because other than that squirrel that Unia caught with her bare hands and just kind of swallowed whole they haven’t had anything to eat since they arrived in this competition, and they were promised there would be food, but like it’s kind of a modeling competition and also mild torture so Lisa canceled the caterer last minute and put out some breath mints instead. They have been waiting with bated breath and finally they hear a voice from the other side of some trees or something say, “Ok you hoes! Get your asses over here and sit before Lisa’s judgment!” It’s Dr. Sakura is making peace with how life will be without a steady supply of eye makeup remover and it’s all like ok! We can do this! Adwoa is experimenting with new forms of hydration should they have to cross a desert or come to a town that only sells Diet Mountain Dew. Gigi has a line on a new source of stimulants to keep them all EXTRA PUMPED UP while they travel. As you know, they’re all like in a forest or a field or something just waiting to find out if they will be allowed to accompany Lisa on her quest for the One Ring and world domination or model murder or whatever is happening.Īnyway, Lisa told them it was time to BUCKLE DOWN, and by jove that’s what they’re doing. The models have all been very busy since the last time they got to hang out with Lisa doing very very serious things.
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